really have to vent…please keep scrolling and don’t read ok so I’m thinking that if i just do this then ill put it out of my mind and be over it. cause really, I’m already 95% over it. its just that las 5% that has me all blegh.
i never thought that would happen. but it did. and there is no way on earth i regret it, if time turns back id do it the same way all over again. and after it was kinda hard cause you get attached to people. to what they say and how they think and the way they make you feel. that one week was the most heart-wrenching, soul-crushing, happy, mood-swinging, excited week i think I’ve ever had. i felt so calm and beautiful. wanted and needed and alive. it was amazing. i don’t remember the last time i could just talk to someone and say everything i thought and not freak out about anything. just be there and enjoy and be calm and have fun. i love that feeling. which is maybe why it was kinda hard to let it go.
but its over now. and I’m fine with that because now i know what its like. theres nothing i hate more than a “what if” and theres no “what if” there anymore. now we can go back to being friends who were never really close but enjoy each others company when its there.
i guess wat ill miss is actually talking cause there are some things that i never say, cause who’ll understand? i mean i love my friends, the 5 i have that i count as truly close “share everything” friends, but there are some things i know they wouldn’t understand so i never say them. and if i do they don’t understand so why bring it up again. but thats not the point here. the point is it happened, it was amazing, its over, and life goes on. this is not even something that hurts. but for some reason i can’t get it out of my mind completely.
anyways, good night and as always ignore the stupid rants of the dramatic, crazy, idiotic, pathetic little girl that is me.
really have to vent…please keep scrolling and don’t read
ok so I’m thinking that if i just do this then ill put it out of my mind and be over it. cause really, I’m already 95% over it. its just that las 5% that has me all blegh.
i never thought that would happen. but it did. and there is no way on earth i regret it, if time turns back id do it the same way all over again. and after it was kinda hard cause you get attached to people. to what they say and how they think and the way they make you feel. that one week was the most heart-wrenching, soul-crushing, happy, mood-swinging, excited week i think I’ve ever had. i felt so calm and beautiful. wanted and needed and alive. it was amazing. i don’t remember the last time i could just talk to someone and say everything i thought and not freak out about anything. just be there and enjoy and be calm and have fun. i love that feeling. which is maybe why it was kinda hard to let it go.
but its over now. and I’m fine with that because now i know what its like. theres nothing i hate more than a “what if” and theres no “what if” there anymore. now we can go back to being friends who were never really close but enjoy each others company when its there.
i guess wat ill miss is actually talking cause there are some things that i never say, cause who’ll understand? i mean i love my friends, the 5 i have that i count as truly close “share everything” friends, but there are some things i know they wouldn’t understand so i never say them. and if i do they don’t understand so why bring it up again. but thats not the point here. the point is it happened, it was amazing, its over, and life goes on. this is not even something that hurts. but for some reason i can’t get it out of my mind completely.
anyways, good night and as always ignore the stupid rants of the dramatic, crazy, idiotic, pathetic little girl that is me.
